Monday, October 24, 2016

Dear KJ: How Can I Overcome My Fear of Eating in Public?

Dear KJ: How do you get over your fear of eating in front of other people (at a restaurant or cafeteria, for example) after recovering from an eating disorder? (Originally posted HERE)
Image found HERE.
The experience of having—and recovering from—an eating disorder takes many forms, because many different kinds of people experience EDs. Many eating disorder sufferers experience crippling phobias and obsessive thoughts related to eating and body image. One phobia many people have heard of is having extreme fear of certain foods, or food groups. Another commonly known experience is one of obsessive counting, whether counting calories, carbs or minutes exercising.
Some less well-known fears, however, have to do with the social aspects of eating, which add an additional layer to an individual's struggles managing food or exercise-related symptoms. Eating is a social experience in most cultures, including in American culture. We see advertisements depicting big family meals as a time when people connect with each other at the end of the day. One of Normal Rockwell's most famous pieces features Thanksgiving dinner in this way. The common dating phrase "dinner and a movie" similarly links food with social connection, and pretty much every high school movie depicts the school cafeteria as a modern day Roman Forum! Suffice it to say, most of us associate eating with spending time with friends and family.
But eating socially can be a huge challenge for people who are suffering from or in recovery from eating disorders. Sometimes, this challenge is due to attempts to hide disordered eating habits from friends and family. Sometimes, those struggling eat in isolation not only to be secretive, but also to avoid scrutiny, critique or feeling freakish. It's also common for individuals with eating disorders to experience exaggerated feelings of being watched or judged while eating.
Once a pattern of eating in isolation has become a habit, the prospect of eating socially, or even of eating alone but in a public place, can trigger major anxiety, sometimes leading to panic attacks. Not everyone experiences this, but it's more common than most people think.
There are many well-researched approaches to overcoming fearful experiences. In extreme cases, such as when a person experiences panic attacks or if the social phobia begins to extend beyond just eating situations, it's almost always necessary to work with a therapist with special training on managing phobias. For cases that are less extreme but still distressing, here are some tips.  First, when in recovery from an eating disorder, your first priority must be to take care of your body, even if this sometimes means neglecting social experiences. If your body isn't properly nourished and rested, your brain can't work effectively. If your brain isn't working effectively, your efforts on the psychological side of recovery will be even more difficult.
So, if nourishing yourself properly means missing out on a slumber party or two, so what? However, this only makes sense if you are actually able to nourish yourself in less social contexts. And it can't go on forever. At some point, whether it takes days or weeks or months, it's important to rejoin the social world of eating.
There are two strategies I've used when facing a fear. The first one is to deliberately—and in all seriousness—ask yourself, "realistically, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? How would I survive that?" (Note the choice of the word "realistically." That means you should avoid imagining scenarios of an asteroid falling on the restaurant, okay?)
Once you've answered this question to yourself, come up with a plan to survive it. Notice I did not say "come up with a plan to guarantee that this never happens!" Facing fears by avoiding them is what trapped in this situation in the first place. So let's try it: maybe your worst case scenario is that somebody comments on your eating in a way that is upsetting, whether it's a difficult relative or a nosy stranger. What would you do to survive it? Is there a phrase you could prepare in response, like "I know you think that commenting on my eating is helpful, but it isn't. Please give me some space." 
Afraid that could be too difficult or awkward? What if your plan was to burst into tears and run out of the room? That doesn't sound fun, but could you survive it? Think to yourself, "Well, if I burst into tears and run out of the room I will probably feel really embarrassed, but I will survive. I will not actually be in any real physical danger." When I describe this strategy, some of my friends find it incredibly useful and calming to be so specific and methodological in their planning, but others find that it increases their anxiety to imagine possible worst-case scenarios. Only use it if it works for you!
The second strategy I've used is to convince myself that I'm just conducting a tiny little experiment, just to see what happens. To do this, ask yourself to take a baby step but nothing more. Perhaps you hope to someday go to a pizza party with your friends, but everything about it terrifies you (the pizza! the chaos! people seeing me eat! food decisions! strangers! ack!). 
So, start really, really small, by just looking at the menu of a local pizza place and asking yourself what your favorite kind of pizza is. You don't have to go there. You don't have to order it. You don't have to eat it. You just have to take one small step toward these other things. If you can get through that first baby step, stop and observe the result of your experiment. Are you okay? Were you able to identify what kind of pizza you would like the most? Great! Now, the next step might be to go to the pizza place with no intention of eating there. Just walk by outside and look into a window. Still okay? Great. Next time you can go in, ask to see a menu (so you have something to say), and then turn around and leave.
The next step might be to go there with a very close friend or family member, but eat ahead of time, so all you have to do is sit in the pizza place while the other person has a slice. Or maybe the next step would be to go in by yourself to eat a slice of pizza on your own. Or maybe you'll ask for a slice of pizza "to go" and then eat it at home. Either way, the point here is to take very small steps without any expectation of doing more than that one step at any time. Then you take the next one, and then the next, and eventually you'll have "tested" each step of the way. This may sound excruciatingly slow or drawn out, but if it works, who cares, right?
You can do it!

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  16. افضل شركة نقل اثاث بالمدينة المنورة تساعدك على نقل اثاثك بامان فلا داعى للقلق مع افضل شركة نقل اثاث بجدة

    عزيزى العميل انت من محبى التنقل باستمرار بالتالى انت بحاجة ماسة وضروية الى الاستعانة بالمختصين في نقل العفش خاصة ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض لان الاستعانة باى من عمالة الشوارع الغير مدربة والتي لا تمتلك خبرة كافية في نقل العفش او الحفاظ علية وليس هذا فقط فقد يؤدى الاستعانة بعمالة الشوارع الى حدوث حالة فقدان وتكسير للاثاث بالتالى التاثير الضار عليك عزيزى العميل

    لا تقلق مطلقاً الان بشأن نقل اي منقولات خاصة بك طالما استعنت بشركة الاول لـ نقل الأثاث في الرياض وخارج الرياض فنحن ليس الوحيدون ولكننا متميزون عن اى مؤسسة أخرى داخل وخارج الدمام وشهرتنا كافضل شركة نقل عفش بينبع
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    Read my testimony!!! Getting ex back after a breakup. Am Cora L. Sanchez 30 from UK, my boyfriend of a 2year just broke up with me and am 28 weeks pregnant. I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again. Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes, my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time. Generally he is a very nice guy, he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along. He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot. After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe. He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy, he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy. i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 22 hours later, my boyfriend came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my boyfriend are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.

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  28. Now that i got my man back it's would be unfair if I don't share my experience to the whole world on how i got him back.That is why I am here this day to let the world know that there are real powers in spell casting as DR OCUSODO has proven to me by bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family in just 2days after i got him contacted . I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com or drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com A great spell caster,who cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 4 months now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me.Dr OCUSODO released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I'm writing this testimony right now I'm the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that's why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to Dr OCUSODO for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assuring the whole universe that as he has done mine for me,he will definitely help anyone that takes time to get him contacted on. drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com or drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com +2349067457724, WEXSITE https://drocusodospellcast.wixsite.com/dr-ocusodo

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  29. I am very grateful to this great spell caster who brought my ex husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is renato Sanchez. When i came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him and i have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life. To get back with an ex is one of the most inner most feeling many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent for almost 6 years and though my ex husband was far away from my kids i still wish someday he will return back to me. This spell doctor i encountered known as Doctor UZOYA helped me with my wishes and i am happy to say that i am back with my ex husband and i am very happy sharing the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but i always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single reconnection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex, contact this great spell caster at driraborspellcaster@gmail.com you can also call him on +13019098775 and share an awesome testimony too just like me.

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  30. HOW TO GET OVER MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS SOLVED WITH LOVE SPELL: CHECK ON DR. TRUST WEBSITE: https://ultimatespellcast3.wixsite.com/dr-trust

    Hello to you all,i want to use this time to thank Dr. Trust for what he has done for me last week here ,my names are Isabella Molly from Australia,i wanna tell you that me and my husband were together for three years without any trouble nor quarrel, we gave birth to a daughter during this three years and we were good until my husband started having affairs with his co-worker and then him started staying away from home all night and days and he was no longer the man i use to know,him later filed for divorce and ask me and my daughter to go out of his life , at this time i was carrying another child inside of me and now i was so frustrated and was in pains i tried telling him what him was doing was not right , but him wouldn't listen to any body,so i went to my mum house with my child and one day as i was browsing i came a cross a story about this Dr.Trust how he help a lady called Kimberly and i was touched with the story because it was almost same as mine, so i decided to contact him for help at first i was so so scared because many other spell casters that i have tried earlier took me for fool and went away with my money,but due to the line of the story i read about him and gave him my last try with faith and i told him all that has happened. He assure me that i will see result within two days and i told him that many others has told me this before, but nothing work out,him made a statement that many are called but few were chosen. which means him is not like others,so i said okay that was how him finally make my man comes back and it was like a surprise to me and today am a happy person. Now the most perfect thing is that he can’t spend a minute without seeing me or calling me. I gave Dr. Trust a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world,that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn’t done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Email him for any kind of help you may need

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    ReplyDelete
  31. لاشك ان شركه الحورس تعد افضل شركه خدمات منزليه التي منها (التنظيف/رش مبيدات/مكافحه حشرات/تسليك مجاري/كشف تسربات المياه/تنظيف خزانات..)وعديد من الخدمات التي تلزم البيت او الفله نحن بخدمتك عزيزي العميل.
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  32. i cant still believe that there are people out there dying of heartbreak or scammed by other spell casters,i contacted so many spell caster but non could help me bring my ex boyfriend back until i contacted Dr.SABU and explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Boyfriend has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.SABU is truly a real spell caster.his email:drsabuspelltemple@gmail.com any heartbreak i will advice you to contact Dr.SABU Because in my own situation he did a very great job for me by bringing back my ex Boyfriend without wasting time and since then my relationship has been perfect and protected by his great power.or cell whatsapp number+2347057624993 So better contact him now web/site:https://drsabuspelltemple.wixsite.com/dr-sabu

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  34. I want to thank Dr.AGUMBA for helping me he make me believe in magic spell, he brought my lover back to met 10:am yesterday morning, i contacted him 4days ago to help me bring my ex back to me, and he told me he will help me thats once he finish casting the spell my lover will come back to me withing 2days, after he finish casting the spell he called me and said he just finsh casting spell that my lover will come looking for me, yesterday morning at 10:am my boyfriend came back to me he said to me that he is so sorry for hurting me by breaking up with me. This is Dr AGUMBA email address:dragumbaspelltemple@yahoo.com contact him to help also

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  40. Hello,

    My name is David L. Ollis, 43yrs, from UK my wife and I have been married for 15 years. For over five years I have been dealing with jealousy issues because of flirting and her having emotional type affairs with other men. I felt like my masculinity was in question and if I said the way she was acting bothered me, it seemed to make matters worse or I was accused of being controling. During this period I did state I wanted a divorce if the behavior was not going to end: texting men a night, leaving for the weekend without letting me know where she was going or not responding to messages. We do have a son and basically it's been him and I for the last year on the weekends. She disconnected completely from being a good wife and mother. In April she said she wanted a separation and I said no we need to get into marriage counseling. We did try that, but she was not very responsive and didn't give any effort. Afterward she was adamant about separation and divorce. I continued to say no and that we needed to save our family. She presented a separation agreement and I had to hire a lawyer. Because of the above behavior my lawyer suggested a private investigator. The investigator discovered my wife was having an affair with a close friend of the family who also is married with children. We know the extended families. I feel like I should tell this man's wife about what happened. This adultery has devastated me emotionally, I feel betrayed and I'm physically drained. I know my wife is passionate in terms of her sexuality, and I can't get the thought of them out of my head. It makes me question my own manhood, and I feel very inferior or that he must be a better lover or what ever. The problem is my wife pursued him. She would go to him and she lured him into this adultery. I felt this was coming for some time and could not stop it. She was not only lying to me but also to our son about what she was doing and where she was going. My family is important, my son loves her and as crazy as it sounds so do I. Can you respond with a course of action on how to proceed? I was still have a very huge place in my heart for her. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I, my son and my wife are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.

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  41. Our marriage lacked understanding, it was like every normal marriage as long as I didn't say anything that my husband disagreed with or win an argument. Am always trying to know the ins and outs of his life as his wife, and it turned into a huge blow-out. Our divorce wasn't really about our lack of understanding according to my therapist, it was as a result of a spiritual separation. She introduced me to DR BEN
    {voodoospelltemple80@yahoo.com} for spiritual reconciliation/understanding, proper healing and cleansing of wounds left by husband. My therapist was so honest to me and never wanted to waste my time, she saw that I have been living in pain with my devastating marriage and my heart has ached for years.
    I was in dire need of permanent solution from DR BEN after he assured me of smooth and easy result within 48hours immediately the spell is done. Like the honest man he is, Doc. proved my therapist right and brought back my husband exactly the way I wanted. My time with DR BEN was so magical, I never know anyone has the power to unit a broken home and heal a broken heart. Thanks to my therapist {Theresa} and DR BEN {voodoospelltemple80@gmail.com} for making us a better couple and example to a younger generation.

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  44. I never believed in spell casting, but After 6 years of dating, I still imagine how Dr Aza brought my ex lover back to me in just 24 hour. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster that really work. am sandra by name,I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Aza, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship when my ex lover who left me, When i contacted Dr Aza he cast a love spell for me and my ex lover who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again, he called me and started begging me. he is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers of bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my lover,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Aza if you have similar problem i will advice you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face. his email: azaspellcaster@gmail.com or you can whatsApp his line:+2348107155060 or see more at http://azaspellcaster.wixsite.com/spell-caster

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  55. My name is Cathy James. am from Alabama, USA i hear how people are talking numerously about this powerful man called Dr Jatto and i also contact him to help me cast a spell in regard of my girlfriend whom i love so much that left me 2 yrs ago,but today my girlfriend is back to me and we are happily married with 3kids and i am so much happy for the help i found in you Dr Jatto. I and my family are very much happy and we are living large now,smiling everyday and we happy together again.i am grateful and appreciate your good work you used your spell to bring me and my girlfriend ,thank you and may God bless you and may you live long to help people in problems. you can contact his email:drjattolovespelltemple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or his websites:http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/spelltemple and his Mobile:+2347050270268.!!.

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  56. Now that i got my man back it's would be unfair if I don't share my experience to the whole world on how i got him back.That is why I am here this day to let the world know that there are real powers in spell casting as DR OCUSODO has proven to me by bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family in just 2days after i got him contacted . I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com or drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com A great spell caster,who cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 4 months now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me.Dr OCUSODO released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I'm writing this testimony right now I'm the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that's why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to Dr OCUSODO for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assuring the whole universe that as he has done mine for me,he will definitely help anyone that takes time to get him contacted on. drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com or drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com +2349067457724, WEXSITE https://drocusodospellcast.wixsite.com/dr-ocusodo

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    I was in a relationship with this guy for the past 1 and a half year.. We became close real fast and were very serious about each other… he’s German and was in the country for her internship.. he left after first 6 months and came back after a couple of months.. he said that he had come down for me.. WE started living – in.. We discussed faMILY, KIDS, future, moving to EU together.. everything was going good until of last August when I started to get jealous about his moves, I got controlling and things started to get worse.. we spoke about it a lot of times where he expressed how he felt but I was not able to understand why I was doing that.. During our discussion I would always say I did .. This February he called it off and since then I have been a mess.. I gave it a lot of thought and realised my mistakes and why I was doing it.. I tried talking to him .. begged him.. pleaded him .. but he says that he has lost all his feelings for me and would never get back to me..I was in my knees praying looking for help, them i fine a comment online how a spell caster help to restored relationship get ex lover back, ” so i decided to give a try coz i love my boyfriend so much. so i contacted Dr happy http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/ tell him all my problem and he gave me 100%guarantee that i will have my boyfriend back after the spell so i was gifted and lucky to have contacted him i did every thing he ask of me and to my greatest surprise a day after the spell my boyfriend call me and apology for what he did to me and ask for my forgiveness to come back again for me, we both are happily living together again plz Contact him urgently via.........
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  60. HOW TO GET OVER MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS:LOVE SPELL TO GET BACK YOUR EX BY DR. Zaba WEBSITE: http://zaba24hoursspell.wixsite.com/zabaspell


    Hello to you all,i want to use this time to thank Dr. Zaba for what he has done for me last week here ,my names are Isabella Molly Wyatt from Australia,i wanna tell you that me and my husband were together for three years without any trouble nor quarrel, we gave birth to a daughter during this three years and we were good until my husband started having affairs with his co-worker and then him started staying away from home all night and days and he was no longer the man i use to know,him later filed for divorce and ask me and my daughter to go out of his life , at this time i was carrying another child inside of me and now i was so frustrated and was in pains i tried telling him what him was doing was not right , but him wouldn't listen to any body,so i went to my mum house with my child and one day as i was browsing i came a cross a story about this Dr.Zaba how he help a lady called Kimberly and i was touched with the story because it was almost same as mine, so i decided to contact him for help at first i was so so scared because many other spell casters that i have tried earlier took me for fool and went away with my money,but due to the line of the story i read about him and gave him my last try with faith and i told him all that has happened. He assure me that i will see result within two days and i told him that many others has told me this before, but nothing work out,him made a statement that many are called but few were chosen. which means him is not like others,so i said okay that was how him finally make my man comes back and it was like a surprise to me and today am a happy person. Now the most perfect thing is that he can’t spend a minute without seeing me or calling me. I gave Dr. Zaba a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world,that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn’t done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Email him for any kind of help you may need.

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