Day 269: Mantra Monday - Find Something You Profoundly Appreciate About Each Person You Spend Time With This Week!

Hello friends!  Season's Greetings!! This Monday's Mantra is running a bit late, but I didn't forget.  Tomorrow Michael and I fly east to spend Christmas with our families - first his (in Louisville, KY) and then mine (in St. Louis, MO).  Between all the travel, the as-of-yet-still-unpurchased-gifts, and the dozens of friends and family we're hoping to spend quality time with, I'm anticipating that the next 9 days will be filled with both holiday cheer and a tinge of insanity.  

Not this year!!

I've read that the winter holiday season actually marks a peak in depression, anxiety, and bitchiness.  This is mostly thanks to outrageously high expectations colliding with the chaos of reality.  We miss our long-distance family throughout the year, but quickly remember everything annoying about them within the first 24 hours of a visit.  This, of course, is immediately followed by our own sudden devolvement back to the entitled moodiness of our teenaged selves.  Fun stuff, right?  Anyway, this year I'm determined to see the best in people and chillax about the worst.  Hence, my mantra this week is:

Find Something You Profoundly Appreciate About Each Person You Spend Time With This Holiday Season.

This mantra is a step up from my mother's longtime admonishment to "find something you like about everybody you meet".  (Well, actually it's a step up and a step down: Instead of finding something I "like," I've raised the bar to "profoundly appreciate."  Yet, I'm not committing to doing this for every single person I meet, but only the folks I "spend time with.")  My mom's advice - which I take quite seriously - has sometimes lead me to "like" superficial things about the people I meet (i.e., great shoes!), as a way to make myself feel better for being otherwise judgmental (i.e., what an annoying laugh!; what an immature/sexist/unfunny joke!; OMG I CANNOT believe these people open their Christmas presents BEFORE church! Blasphemy!! - spoken like a true Christmas-and-Easter-only churchgoer!).  Clearly, this approach is overly judgmental for a season that ought to be dedicated to gratitude and good will.  Further, even if I manage to keep such snarky thoughts to myself (which can be a challenge after a few cups of gossipmongering eggnog!), I've still invited shallowness and negativity into my own psyche.  

Way to go Michael.  How... umm.... thoughtful?

So this year I'm changing things up.  Will I still feel annoyance and occasional snarkiness over the next few weeks?  Undoubtedly.  But I'm challenging myself to open my heart wider by finding qualities in each person that fundamentally supersede my petty gripes.  And this goes for Michael, too.  Who cares if he thought a taser (yes, A TASER!) would be an outstanding Christmas present for his new wife?  (Deep breath.  Repeat mantra.)  This man is the most kind and giving soul I've ever met.  That matters more, and suddenly the taser (non)gift matters less. And, thankfully, my sister warned Michael that the taser "might not be such a good idea" just in time, so he still has a few days to redeem himself!)

Speaking of my sister, I vibrantly recall pitching a crying, screaming, "nobody-cares-about-me" fit a few decades ago, when my Hanna opened a gift that I had put on my christmas list.  "Why does SHE get a makeup-kit?! I'm the OLDEST daughter!!"  I wailed and stomped.  Poor Hanna feared the worst.  After I'd caught my breath and could be coaxed out of my room, my mom handed me an identically-wrapped box which contained the exact same makeup kit.  I was embarrassed, and my parents, I'm sure, were wholly unimpressed (although, from that day forth, all "identical gifts" given to both Hanna and me are opened simultaneously).  Anyway, this story reminds me that I'm not always an angel to be around during Christmas, either.  I've matured a lot since the makeup-kit fiasco, but I've still got my quirks.  Hopefully my friends and family will see the best in me as well!


So tell me, what drives you totally nuts about your family?  More importantly: what do you "profoundly appreciate" so much that it makes all the weird quirks not matter?  
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